Monday, October 27, 2008

To OG

If you subscribe or read Entertainment Weekly, he writes some of the movie reviews. I don't recommend reading his columns either.

Mr. OG,

Please tell me you are not serious about the recent review of "Let the Right One In." Are you so thick headed and dull that you can't catch the subtle inferences? Can you not add 1 and 1 together to make 2? It's a vampire movie, first off. That should help you and explain away a couple of complaints you had. The older man in the film was not Eli's real father of course. He was a mortal man who traveled with her. The reason why he was going off to kill people in the woods? As Eli's keeper, he drains people for her! That would be why he hangs the people upside down and puts buckets underneath them to collect the blood. Oh! That's clever! And why is Oskar so lonely and infatuated with violence? Let's see... Could it be that he is the outcast who is constantly bullied? Couldn't be, could it? And not to mention his father is mostly out of the picture... Hm... what else? The title of the movie you ask? Oh for the love of... Do you not have an inkling of vampire lore and legend?! Any kid who has seen Looney Tunes' Halloween specials can tell you that! You have to invite a vampire into any private home. They can enter against your will but if they do, they're powerless and usually have their blood start pouring out of every orifice. Not a pretty thing to gaze upon as I'm sure you'll agree if you remember that scene from the movie (if you watched it at all).

It's people like you, sir, who are the travesties of Hollywood and contribute to the "dumbing" down of films. When an intelligent film comes along and makes you think, you pass it off as "confusing." If the film is subtitled, it is presumed not worth the time and effort. No wonder common sense is not so common. Your review makes you out to be a xenophobe and a very incompetent writer. At the very least, if you do not know the core subject of a film, the prime example being vampires, do a little research before seeing it. It will help.

~A

2 comments:

BC said...

I've known he was a moron since he trashed The Usual Suspects for "not making sense". I actually mentioned that the other day. He's a tool.

ACollinsVampire said...

Yes, he is. I only have a year subscription with EW since I signed with Best Buy and thought, what the hell? since it's free. Most of the writers are idiots.