Wednesday, February 13, 2008

If I wrote the New Dark Shadows Movie...

If you don't know about what Dark Shadows is, do not worry. You will. A couple months back, Johnny Depp announced that he had boughten the rights of the show and planned to make a movie. He said that he had always wanted to play the character of "Barnabas Collins." It probably is better if you do not know a lot about the show before going into the movie. It'll be your first taste.

So if I wrote it (and hell directed it, too [I'll go the whole nine yards]), this is how I would start it and continue it. Not going to write all that I "plan" to write, but you'll get an idea.


Pretend you're sitting in the theater. The previews have just ended and everything is black. You start to hear the faintest sound of a flute. It sounds almost like a faint whisper. Then you hear a voice.

"I remember..."

The voice is hoarse like he hadn't used his voice in years...which at the end you'll find out its been 175 years... It has an accent, not quite British, but not modern American.

"I remember when I was young, a man, still truly human."

The screen is still black. However you see that the blackness is lifting and revealing a beach. It's blurred, but still recognizable. A cliff is seen in the distance. The narrator is back.

"I remember my family..."
"My father, Joshua. My mother, Naomi. Little Sarah, my sister."

"And Josette."

"My lovely Josette."

You can hear the narrator sigh and almost feel his anguish through his voice.

"I remember the sight of the ocean when looking out from Collinwood, the smell of the sea and flowers of Martinique."

Another pause. I'll really lay down the suspense.

"Martinique. That island paradise where all of this started. The days lasted lifetimes. The nights were the happiest I've ever known. "

The camera moves to show the audience the sea. An old ship is coming in. The camera zooms out so you see the sea, the ship, the beach, and the back of a woman standing on the beach, watching the ship come in. (Got all that?) The woman is beautiful with porcelain skin and long blond hair, pinned in curls. She turns her face a fraction towards the camera so that you're able to see her grey eye. Narrator returns sounding very bitter.

"Until she sailed here to Collinsport."


And that's it for now, folks. Yay or Nay?

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